喜劇小品:優妹漢哥(第一集)

2010年01月02日其它專題
【新唐人2010年1月1日訊】優妹妹漢哥哥
Funny Sis & Silly Bro

一群時潮的新人男女
A group of trendy people
執着﹕
Their life pursuit:
侃個痛快
Chat with pleasure
笑個開心
Laugh with passion
活的自在
Live for today



第一集
Episode 1

強拆氣煞中南海

Forced deconstruction enrages Zhongnanhai Office

奧巴馬要給全球退黨服務中心發新年賀辭的傳聞﹐迅速在全國傳開

元旦前夜﹐中共高層在中南海召開緊急會議
President Obama is going to send New Year greetings to Global Service Center for Quitting the Chinese Communist Party. The news is rapidly spread around China at New Year’s Eve and the CCP high-level officials are having an emergency conference in Zhongnanhai Complex over this issue.

祕書﹕Secretary:
奧巴馬要給退黨辦發新年賀電
Obama is going to send New Year greetings to Global Service Center for Quitting the

Chinese Communist Party
歐洲政要也要發賀電
And so are the European governments
我們怎麼辦”?
What should we do?

中宣部長﹕
Minister of Central Bureau of Promotion:
封殺,封殺,封殺
Shut it out, shut it out, shut it out

公安部長﹕
Minister of Public Security:
所有退黨的統統抓
Arrest all those who quit the party.

司法部長﹕
Minister of Justice:
判 重重的判
Give them heavy sentences

胡總﹕
President Hu:
蠢,蠢,蠢!你們真的以為我和江一樣愚蠢嗎
Stupid, stupid, stupid! You think I am as big an imbecile as Jiang?
嗨!真是弱智
Sigh! It’s retarded
現眼都現到國際法庭上去了
Lose his face in International Court.
看看你們各個這個德行
Look at yourself…
這點事就沉不住氣了
Being so jumpy over this small issue

溫總﹕
Prime Minister Wen:
再這樣退下去
If more people quit the party
可能就剩下我們這幾個人了
There will be only a handful of us.
你們幾個部長都在
Now the ministers are here
你們看着辦吧
You guys think about what to do!

中宣部長﹕
Minister of Public Security:

我有一個主意
I got an idea
讓金正日出面
Let Kim Jong-il do the job
宣佈試射飛彈
Make an announcement of missile trial
這奧巴馬最頭痛的就是他
He is the biggest pain to Obama

公安部長﹕
Minister of Public Security:
我倒有個主意
I got an idea too
跟本拉登聯繫一下
Call Bin-laden
如果奧巴馬給發賀電
If Obama sends the greetings
我們花一點錢
We pay Bin-laden
在紐約給他放幾個人肉炸彈下去
Tell him to drop some human bombs in New York

溫總﹕
Prime Minister Wen:
司法部
Ministry of Justice

沒了主意的司法部長
The Minister of Justice has no idea
冒出了一身冷汗
He is sweating
這時 縣城管大隊長
Now an officer of county government
司法部長的遠房小舅子
A brother-in-law of the minister
酒後興起
has been drinking
打通了他的手提
He is calling the minister’s cell phone
借着醉意
and faking drunk
以出謀劃策為由
Trying to take advantage of the ideas he comes up with
打聽自己的調職事宜
To pry into the matter of his promotion
祕書﹕
Secretary:
給來點好主意 好
Okay, tell us what you got

溫總﹕
Prime Minister Wen:
什麼主意 說吧
Name it, what is that?

城管﹕
Officer:
二 二姐夫
My brother-in-law
你啥時候給俺調省裡
When will you promote me to the provincial office?
這裡太他娘的窮了
People are very poor here
一電油水都沒有
I can’t make any fortune

公安部長﹕
Minister of Public Security:
手下全是七大姑八大姨的
All staff are relatives

祕書﹕
Secretary:
少胡說八道
Stop talking rubbish
說正經事
Be serious

城管﹕
Officer:
噢 二姐夫您別急
Oh, my bro, don’t worry
俺現在就告訴你絕招
Let me give you good advice
第一:調集俺縣的強拆隊進入美國
First idea: I can summon the deconstruction team in my county and send them to America
只要二表姐夫一句話,幾個小時之內就
My brother, just give me an order, within several hours
讓白宮片瓦不存
We can raze the White House to the ground
第二:俺們縣裡到處都是神偷手
Second idea: We have so many expert thieves in my county
如果奧巴馬那小子不聽話
If Obama doesn’t listen to us
元旦夜先給他們曼哈蛋水晶球摘下來
We steal the new year’s eve ball from Manhattan
過元旦
Celebrating the New Year’s Eve?
讓他們過鳥蛋吧
Now they have nothing to celebrate
怎麼樣,二姐夫
What do you think, my bro?

司法部長﹕
Minister of Justice:
不要說廢話
No talking rubbish
說正事
Say something serious
中央 領導都在聽
All leaders of Central Committee are listening

城管﹕
Officer:
中央
The Central?
中央個鳥
The Central is rubbish
二姐夫您就是中央
You are the Central
其他人都是鳥
All of them are rubbish
哈哈哈
Ha…ha…ha…
怎麼樣
So what!
二姐夫
Hey my bro…

眾﹕
All people:
總書記 總書記
President, President
城管﹕
Officer
二姐夫 二姐夫
Brother, brother

“優妹漢哥”製作組
Funny Sis & Silly Bro Production Team

祝觀眾
新年快樂
Wish you Happy New Year

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